1 00:00:00,501 --> 00:00:01,635 ** 2 00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:03,504 Oh! Oh, Tony! 3 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,140 Tony! 4 00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:07,308 Ah, damn! What's going on, girl? 5 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:08,309 I thought you left the sex tape 6 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,310 on too loud or something. 7 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,978 What's wrong with you? 8 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,314 Tony, I think I got a real problem this time. 9 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,683 Yeah, obviously. I think the whole damn neighborhood heard you. 10 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:16,684 What's going on? 11 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,152 I'm going bald. 12 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,888 What? Oh, no. I didn't sign up for that. 13 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,824 Come on, Tony. Could you please be serious for a minute? 14 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,661 I am serious. I understand this is a hairy situation. 15 00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,663 My skin is breaking out... 16 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,333 I think this is a side effect of that birth control. 17 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,168 Ah. There it is. 18 00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:36,036 Now it makes sense 'cause you're also gaining weight. 19 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,405 What? 20 00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:39,240 I'm just saying, I'm agreeing with you. 21 00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:40,341 One of the side effects 22 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,176 of birth control is weight gain. 23 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:44,412 Oh, what, so now you're some expert on birth control? 24 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,180 Here we go, right on cue, the mood swings. 25 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:48,516 Oh, damn it, I am not moody! 26 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,184 Okay! Could've fooled me. 27 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:52,353 Looked like your head was about to spin around. 28 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,189 You know what? Lori has that charity event coming up. 29 00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:57,691 I am not going to go with my hair looking like this. 30 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,527 What is it with your damn sisters? 31 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,896 Lori is always begging. Her hands look like cups. 32 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:04,632 Tony, I'm going bald. 33 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,734 Baby, it's okay. 34 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:07,768 Just have Rachel shave her back 35 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:08,769 and make a wig out of that. 36 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,371 You'll be all right. 37 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,440 * Woke up and my wife said to me * 38 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,775 * The bill collectors want their fees * 39 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,044 * The kids keep talking back to me * 40 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,079 * Family Time 41 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,315 * Family Time, Family Time * 42 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,284 * Family Time 43 00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:26,120 ** 44 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,258 Good morning! 45 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,659 Good morning. 46 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,628 Morning breakfast? 47 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:36,464 The most important meal of the day and all. 48 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,299 I would've made it for you. 49 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,567 No, thank you. 50 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,335 The way you went off on me last night, 51 00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:43,003 I would've expected poison in my eggs. 52 00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,406 Or worse. Hair. 53 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,441 You're right. I was on one. 54 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,243 I understand how traumatic that could be. 55 00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,412 You go to sleep with a full, beautiful head of hair, 56 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,247 and you wake up with LeBron's hairline. 57 00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,149 Just promise me you won't start wearing headbands. 58 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,018 That's a promise 59 00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,087 because I'm getting off birth control. 60 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,789 Look, no, wait. [ coughing ] 61 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,424 Excu-- Uh, uh, excuse me? 62 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,293 Could you run that by me again? 63 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:07,127 I said I'm getting off the pill. 64 00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,962 You're having a midlife crisis. 65 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,598 You think that having another child 66 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,300 will make you feel young again. 67 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,635 Speaking of which, you want some of these fresh eggs? 68 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:18,105 I will have a midlife crisis when I actually reach midlife, 69 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,774 thank you, and I love my kids, 70 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,876 We know that, but I don't want any more. 71 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,478 I don't want any more kids either. 72 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:25,646 So, now I'm confused. 73 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,047 You don't want any more kids, 74 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,616 but you want to get off birth control. 75 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,117 So, am I to assume that you're going 76 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,286 to shut down the factory without any further notice? 77 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,287 In a sense. 78 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:34,455 In a sense? 79 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,623 Well, does that mean I can get a job 80 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,124 at another factory? 81 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,160 You do, and I'll burn down that factory with you in it. 82 00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,729 Okay, well, then I don't get it. 83 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:44,332 I'm talking about getting my tubes tied, Tony. 84 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,900 Surgery? Oh, no. I don't know about that. 85 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,637 You want to start wearing protection? 86 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,839 You know, Todd knows a good surgeon. 87 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,174 ** 88 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,744 So, I'm thinking for this charity event, 89 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:59,680 we should have a cute little '70s party. 90 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,014 - [ groans ] - Afros... 91 00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:04,084 Everybody does '70s. 92 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:07,187 I think we should do, like, a nice '80s house party theme. 93 00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,589 Ooh, yes, yes, yes! I love it! 94 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:09,857 And we should host it here. 95 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,259 Yeah! Why not? 96 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,026 What is this charity, anyway? 97 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,396 Oh, Lisa. How many times do I have to tell you? 98 00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,498 The Keep On Wishing Foundation 99 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,934 is a charitable organization for underprivileged children 100 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,603 who aren't fortunate enough 101 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:25,739 to have someone like me in their lives to guide them 102 00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:29,943 through life's obstacles and tough decisions. 103 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:32,380 What kind of tough decisions can you help somebody make? 104 00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:34,214 Like where to buy the best knockoff purse? 105 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:35,716 [ laughing ] 106 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,451 [ fake laughter ] 107 00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:40,220 Laugh if you want to, ladies, but don't ask for nothing 108 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:42,456 out of my Neiman Marcus gift basket they promised me. 109 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,091 Ooh! 110 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,226 Uh, and why exactly are we having it at my house? 111 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,262 'Cause it's a house party. You're the one with a house. 112 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,965 Okay, fine, since you're being persnickety, 113 00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,801 why don't we take a vote? 114 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:57,104 All in favor of having the party here, say aye. 115 00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,439 - Aye! - Aye! 116 00:03:58,472 --> 00:03:59,873 All opposed? Okay, the ayes have it. 117 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,542 Oh, really? 118 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,377 It's settled! We're going to have a party here. 119 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:06,113 I would've preferred more advance notice. That would've been nice. 120 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,215 But you probably don't have to worry about anything. 121 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,151 Those RSVPs are pretty low. 122 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,387 Oh, well you know how to get those up. 123 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:16,290 All you have to do is make one call. 124 00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:20,060 Come on, Lori. You know that they will be perfect for an '80s party! 125 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,829 Oh, hell, no. 126 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,831 I'm not calling them them heifers. 127 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,966 I am not trying to open up old wounds. 128 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,568 What old wounds? 129 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,637 I mean, just because you were part of a rap group, 130 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,238 they kicked you out and then blew up to be 131 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,407 these huge sensational international stars 132 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,344 I mean, why would that be a wound? 133 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,178 Okay, so now you're pouring salt in the old wound. 134 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,513 N-Pepa. 135 00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:40,848 [ laughter ] 136 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,516 You guys just don't understand. 137 00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,585 It's not funny that Salt-N-Pepa 138 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,554 kicked me out of their group! 139 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,823 I've got things to do. 140 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:52,192 Yeah, the swap meet's about to close. 141 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:54,695 - [ mumbles ] - You know what, I've got to go, too, honestly. 142 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:57,197 I have my appointment with the OB-GYN. 143 00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,099 Wait a minute. Is everything okay? 144 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,134 Yeah. I'm just getting some more information 145 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,603 about a tubal ligation. 146 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,304 Oh, you're getting your tubes tied, sis? 147 00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:05,606 Thinking about it. 148 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,341 Don't you think that's a little premature 149 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:09,176 and invasive? 150 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:11,779 It's an outpatient surgery. You're in and out the same day. 151 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,313 No, it's still surgery. 152 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,948 Now, you remember when Aunt Judy went in. 153 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,017 She woke up, and both her feet had been removed. 154 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,619 She was just going to get an eye exam. 155 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:22,790 I remember. Rachel is right, for a change. 156 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,124 Okay, so what about Tony? 157 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,626 Why doesn't he just get a vasectomy? 158 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,327 He would never go for that. 159 00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:30,330 Oh, but he can go for my little sister 160 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,332 going under the knife and then probably 161 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,201 going into a coma, never waking up, 162 00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:37,671 then he's going to die of sadness and depression, 163 00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:39,206 then you're all going to expect us 164 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,475 to take care of your orphaned children, 165 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:44,011 and honey, I am too fine for all of that! 166 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,880 No! You need to talk to your husband, cutie. 167 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,749 ** 168 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,320 Tony, what are you doing? 169 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,522 Just fixing a broken pipe. 170 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:55,823 Oh, you're a contractor. 171 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,691 Shouldn't we just call a plumber? 172 00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,993 Trust me, Lisa. I know a little something about pipes. 173 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,362 Okay, well, speaking of pipes, 174 00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:03,931 I want to talk to you about something. 175 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,666 Well, can't it wait? I'm right in the middle of this. 176 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,067 Can you hand me that wrench, please? 177 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,269 Yeah. So, I was doing a little research, 178 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,672 and you know, even though it's really common, 179 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,006 it still says it's a major risk 180 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,742 for a woman to have her tubes tied. 181 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,778 Exactly. That's why I want you to stay on birth control. 182 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,747 Or there's another option. 183 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,682 Lisa, we already talked about this. 184 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,585 I don't like how those things feel. 185 00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,353 Have you ever thought about fixing your pipes? 186 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,288 That's what I'm doing right now. 187 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,023 No, the other pipes. 188 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,959 Don't tell me those pipes upstairs are leaking again. 189 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,561 The ones downstairs. 190 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:34,795 Where, in the man cave? 191 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,730 More like your manhood. 192 00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:39,700 Tony, have you ever thought about getting a vasectomy? 193 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,268 What? [ thud ] Oh! Ooh! 194 00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:42,903 Are you okay? 195 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,972 No, I'm not okay. You want to run that by me again? 196 00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,774 Tony, gosh, all I was saying, 197 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,142 that you might want to consider getting a vasectomy. 198 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,612 The big snip? Oh, hell, no. 199 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,481 Who's been filling your head with this nonsense? 200 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:54,582 Nobody. 201 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,452 Nobody, uh-- Okay, all right. 202 00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:00,120 I was talking to Lori and Rachel. 203 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,089 Ah-ha! I don't need a vasectomy. 204 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,924 You need a sisterectomy. 205 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,659 It's really not that big of a deal, Tony. 206 00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:08,395 What not that big of-- Not that big of a deal? Yes, it is! 207 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,231 Until we get a dog, ain't nobody getting neutered around here. 208 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,734 Oh, but it's okay for me to get spayed? 209 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,903 Look, this wasn't my idea. This was your crazy-ass idea. 210 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,672 You know what? It's all on me, huh? 211 00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:20,574 You don't want kids, I don't want kids, 212 00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,342 but somehow you don't have to do anything, 213 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,244 and I'm the one that has to take medicine 214 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:27,080 that makes my hair fall out, or even get surgery? 215 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,583 And don't forget about the mood swings. 216 00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:31,752 How about I swing that wrench at you? 217 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,086 I'd rather take a wrench to the head 218 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,523 than a knife to the-- Now, don't get the idea. 219 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,190 So, you won't even consider it? 220 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,292 Oh, yeah, I'll consider it. Hmm, let me think about. 221 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,861 Oh, yeah, yeah-- No! 222 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,696 I need a damn aspirin now. 223 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:46,133 ** 224 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:49,302 This guy's a bum, man! He can't even make free throw. 225 00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,271 I ain't worried about this damn game. 226 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,640 Lisa wants me to get a vasectomy. 227 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:53,941 What's the difference? 228 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,375 You plan on having some more kids? 229 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:56,944 - No. - So, what's the problem? 230 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,946 The problem is I don't want to get a vasectomy. 231 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,981 [ scoffs ] I don't see what the big deal is, man. 232 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,483 I got one. 233 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,218 Donnie, you don't even have any kids. 234 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,987 I know. It worked! 235 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,188 When I got ObamaCare, man, 236 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,823 I went and got everything done. 237 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,894 After that vasectomy I got a root canal, 238 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,863 a hip replacement. 239 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,631 I even snuck into an OB-GYN's office 240 00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:18,899 to get a Pap smear. 241 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,570 Donnie, men can't get Pap smears. 242 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,471 I know! 243 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,240 Kinda figured that out once they had me in 'em stirrups. 244 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:30,043 [ scoffs ] That's disgusting. 245 00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:33,180 You think any one of these players got one? 246 00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,982 Come on, Ton, you know that's ridiculous, dude. 247 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,850 Ain't no 6'9andquot; ball player 248 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,118 could fit in them little-ass stirrups. 249 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,088 No, man, I'm talking about 250 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,557 do you think any one of them got the big snip. 251 00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:45,859 Nah. I mean, considering that 252 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,494 they usually have six or seven kids 253 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,962 by the time they 30 anyway, they probably should. 254 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,032 Hey, let me give you some advice, man. 255 00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,568 Mm. This should be rich. 256 00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:56,536 You ever heard of a Ben Franklin close? 257 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,338 The only thing I know about Ben Franklin 258 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,674 is he's on the $100 bill. 259 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:03,110 Okay, whenever Ben Franklin had a problem, he would list 260 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,012 the pros and the cons, and he would make his decision 261 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,847 based on whichever side made the most sense. 262 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,749 So, what are your pros? 263 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,450 Well, first of all-- 264 00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:13,587 I'll tell you one. Number one, you can have worry-free sex. 265 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:17,290 Number two, you could save money by not having no more kids. 266 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,859 And number three, it will make Lisa happy, 267 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,527 which will make your marriage better. 268 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,195 That's a good one. I can get behind that. 269 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,697 So, what are your cons? 270 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:26,366 - Let's see-- - Number one, 271 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,301 the doctor could drop the scalpel, 272 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,237 and you could get way more than a vasectomy. 273 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,273 Number two, the next time 274 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,541 the homies say you're coming up short, 275 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,409 it will be true. 276 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,449 I thought I was supposed to be listing my own pros and cons, 277 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,884 not listening to your nonsense. 278 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,986 And number three, if you ran into, let's say 279 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,487 Halle Berry at the supermarket, 280 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,056 and she wants to have your love child, 281 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,925 right, but you can't do it because you got a vasectomy. 282 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,328 If I was Martin right now, I'd be saying, 283 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:58,565 andquot;Cole, you're stupid. 284 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,301 Well, if it was me, I would go with my wife 285 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,469 and whatever makes her happy. 286 00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:03,737 Okay, but what if you decide 287 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,238 you want to have kids one day? 288 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,740 Huh. 289 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,842 Between you and me, I keep a private stash 290 00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:11,444 in my mom's freezer for such an occasion. 291 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,414 I'm done. I'm off of you. 292 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,116 ** 293 00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,155 So, what's up with Tony? 294 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:23,757 Is he going to get the snip or not? 295 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,926 Uh, probably or not. 296 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,762 He's not feeling it, and I'm really not trying to press the issue. 297 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:31,765 In the back of Tony's mind, he wants to have more kids. 298 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:35,836 No, no. We talked about it. He doesn't want more kids. 299 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,604 Maybe not with you. 300 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,106 What? 301 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,507 He's a guy. 302 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,542 Guys always have a back-up plan, 303 00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:45,112 in case the first marriage doesn't work out. 304 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,780 Oh. That's absurd. 305 00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,181 - Is it? - [ doorbell ringing ] 306 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,516 - That's absurdity. - Is it? 307 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,685 It's ridiculous. And rude. 308 00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:53,954 Ooh. Is that Lori? 309 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,522 Hey, did you talk to him? 310 00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:59,292 I asked politely. You know I didn't want to push it. 311 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,061 So, uh, let me guess. They said no. 312 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,964 So, so, they are coming? 313 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,198 Mm-hmm. 314 00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:06,800 Oh. 315 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,335 [ cheers and applause ] 316 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:13,640 Girl, I haven't seen you since! 317 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,976 Since you kicked Lori out of the group! 318 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,479 I wasn't going to bring it up, but... 319 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,481 basically, yeah. 320 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,051 Oh, and Rachel, I remember when you tried 321 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,820 to get with one of our back-up dancers. 322 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,055 Chill! 323 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,523 But I did better with his sister. 324 00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,659 I can't believe you guys are here! 325 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,161 Well, you know, we were in town 326 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,363 shooting another commercial, you know, 327 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,832 Lori called, said she's having a charity function, 328 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,333 so here we are. 329 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,368 And guess what? 330 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:44,171 I announced Salt-N-Pepa's there, 331 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:48,008 and I swear the RSVPs just shot through the old roof. 332 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,010 Well, you know, we was just happy she called. 333 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,080 We thought she was still pissed at us. 334 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,015 Why would I be pissed at y'all? 335 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,784 Maybe because you got replaced? 336 00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,519 What exactly happened anyway? 337 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,789 Me, Salt and Spice, 338 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,224 we were taking the college circuit by storm. 339 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:05,725 I mean, killing it. 340 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,127 - We were hot. - Yes. 341 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,764 And I get one little bout of laryngitis, 342 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,933 and you kicked me to the curb. 343 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,903 You sounded like a dying cat. 344 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:18,105 Whatever, Cheryl. 345 00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:21,975 One little bout, missed one little rehearsal. 346 00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:23,643 I look up, and they replaced me 347 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,913 with a little 16-year-old named Deidra. 348 00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,580 - Who? - Dee Dee! 349 00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,749 - Who's Dee Dee? - Spinderella! 350 00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:31,218 Oh! She was hot. 351 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,320 Okay, but that is all behind you guys now, and now 352 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,889 you're coming back together for underprivileged children. 353 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,424 Exactly. 354 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,092 Underprivileged children. Where's Spinderella? 355 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:41,561 Huh? I don't see her. Did you get rid of her, too? 356 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,330 [ screeching ] 357 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:46,066 Ooh, looks like someone is still bitter. 358 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,901 No! I ain't bitter. 359 00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:49,636 I ain't bitter at all. 360 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:52,072 We did not come here to fight. 361 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,607 Yeah, what did you come here for, Cheryl, huh? 362 00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:58,846 To rub your success in my face like Proactiv? 363 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,747 Okay. This was a bad idea. Let's go. 364 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,082 No! 365 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,750 - We tried, Lisa. - No, let's go. 366 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,419 Let them go. Let them go. They fancy. They fancy. 367 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,922 - Let them shoot their way on out the door. - I heard that! 368 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:10,223 ** 369 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,499 [ all chattering ] 370 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,437 - Anything, ladies? - [ doorbell ringing, knocking ] 371 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,140 You okay? All right. Got you drinks. You're good. 372 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:31,711 Hey! Well, if it isn't Grace Jones! 373 00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:34,281 Just call me a slave to the rhythm, darling. 374 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,149 [ laughter ] 375 00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,618 Wow! This is a good turnout. 376 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,287 I'm glad so many people care about the youth. 377 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,222 Oh, girl, please. They don't care nothing about the youth. 378 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,224 They only care about Salt-N-Pepa. 379 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:47,660 Mm. Well, I only care about how I look, so, how do I look? 380 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:49,129 Fierce, darling. Fierce. 381 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,563 Stranger? 382 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,065 Stranger! Now what about me? 383 00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:54,834 You look great, you look just like Tina Turner 384 00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,636 before Ike's biggest hits. 385 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,638 - Ooh, ooh. - Ooh. Too soon? 386 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,173 Uh, you know, Chris Brown and Rihanna joke, 387 00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:01,608 that would've been too soon. 388 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:06,579 I see you Michael Waxing, but you're not moonwalking. 389 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:09,582 You're just walking backwards. 390 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,919 - He's going for it. - He did. He tried. 391 00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:13,286 [ singing ] 392 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,424 Donnie in the building. 393 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,326 But, who are you exactly? 394 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,560 I'm Rick James. 395 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:21,828 Both: Shut your mouth! 396 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,997 I'm just talking about Rick James. 397 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:26,166 Those appetizers look like one hell of a jug. 398 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,267 Can I get one? 399 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,735 Absolutely. 400 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,237 Nice. Uh, can you point me to the drinks, 401 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:31,238 so I can wash it all down? 402 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,239 Help yourself, super freak. 403 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,140 Ow! 404 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,344 - Where's Lori? - I think she was in the kitchen, 405 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,411 last time I checked. 406 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,114 Oh, let me stranger over there. 407 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:44,617 Uh, well, she was in there a few minutes ago. 408 00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:45,785 Rachel, this is a costume party. 409 00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:47,720 How come you ain't dress up? 410 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:50,790 - Whatever, LL Fool J. - You know what? 411 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,092 When you said we was doing an '80s party, 412 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,260 I thought it was going to be whack, 413 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,894 but I'm having fun with this. 414 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,429 Remember I used to get it in on the street corner. 415 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:58,932 You remember, I got bars. Hold on, hold on. 416 00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,034 * Yeah, big Tone used to rap a lot * 417 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:03,270 * Now I've got a family, wife kind of sexy * 418 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,138 * Sister-in-law manly 419 00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:07,107 * Uh, I got bars like candy 420 00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,208 * Lisa love me long time 421 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,709 * Rachel can't stand me 422 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,878 * But that's cool 'cause I ain't going nowhere * 423 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,213 * Big daddy's stalwart 424 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,214 * Fall like no hair 425 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,415 * Weavy 426 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:21,888 That's okay, 'cause I get more ladies than you, LL No Game. 427 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,290 I told you you'll have fun, Tony. 428 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,058 See, you should listen to your wife sometimes. 429 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,626 Yeah, well, but sometimes 430 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,395 when you're saying something that I don't want to hear. 431 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,063 Yeah, whatever. Have you seen my sister? 432 00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,232 Yeah. He's standing right next to you. 433 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,833 That's enough, human beat box! 434 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,768 Now where's the rest of the Fat Boys? You ate 'em? 435 00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:39,939 There she is. 436 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,410 Oh, Cyndi Lauper. This is so cute! 437 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,346 But you don't look like a girl that just wants to have fun. 438 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,082 Good news. The party's a success. 439 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:52,252 We raised all this money! 440 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,587 Wow! That's really good! 441 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,189 That's great, sis! 442 00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,325 Okay, what could possibly be the bad news? 443 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,593 When the people find out Salt-N-Pepa ain't coming, 444 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:04,631 they're going to want all this money back. 445 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:05,932 Ooh. 446 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,267 If you leave now, you can make it 447 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,868 to the border before they catch you. 448 00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,805 Lori, why wouldn't you tell them 449 00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,774 Salt-N-Pepa aren't coming? 450 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,843 You mean I put on all this for nothing? 451 00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:18,778 Yeah, you did, so why don't you disappear 452 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,148 like your waistline did in the '80s? 453 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,484 Please take this seriously. 454 00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:27,120 Honestly, I think you're overreacting. 455 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,122 I mean, no lie, it would've been really great 456 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:31,191 to have Salt-N-Pepa here, but everybody seems 457 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,859 to be having a good time, regardless. 458 00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,294 Tony: Yeah, that's true. 459 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:37,130 Hey, what's up, y'all? Great party, okay? 460 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,466 But where the hell is Salt-N-Pepa? 461 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,134 Everybody's asking about 'em now. 462 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,536 I'm sure you're over exaggerating. 463 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:46,806 [ chanting ] We want Salt-N-Pepa! We want Salt-N-Pepa! 464 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:50,043 Oh, no. See, this is terrible. 465 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:51,678 First they humiliate me 466 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,013 by kicking me out of the band, and now this? 467 00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:56,483 - Oh, I ain't giving this money back. - Okay, all right now. 468 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,652 Don't you worry your pretty little Cyndi Lauper head, okay? 469 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,088 I have an idea. 470 00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,356 ** 471 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,861 Excuse me, excuse me! DJ, please stop the music. 472 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,197 I just want your attention. 473 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:13,032 I am the sepia Cyndi Lauper, 474 00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:15,068 and I know we all want to have fun! 475 00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,338 So, I just want to thank you all 476 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,572 for your generous donation 477 00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:22,175 to the Keep On Wishing Foundation. 478 00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:24,844 See, I believe the children are our future. 479 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,713 All right, now, enough with the yeb! 480 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:29,916 Cut the yeb, now. We want to see Salt-N-Pepa! 481 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:33,853 Salt-N-Pepa! Salt-N-Pepa! Salt-N-Pepa! 482 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,356 All right, all right, all right! 483 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:39,092 Without further adieu, that's French 484 00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,393 for andquot;They're coming down the stairs,andquot; 485 00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:43,696 here is the original Salt-N-Pepa! 486 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,098 [ cheering ] 487 00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:47,434 ** 488 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,035 * Shoop ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop * 489 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,036 * Shoop 490 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,571 * Shoop ba-doop 491 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,240 * Shoop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop * 492 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,907 * Oh, oh, oh, shoop 493 00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,276 * Shoop ba-doop 494 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:59,379 * Shoop ba-doop 495 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,580 * Shoop 496 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:01,748 ** 497 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:07,654 Hey, stop the music. Stop the music. 498 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,222 I ain't the smartest piranha in the forest, 499 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,324 but even I know they ain't no damn Salt-N-Pepa. 500 00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:13,326 That's Lisa and other one. 501 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,594 [ crowd booing ] 502 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,265 Really? 503 00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,932 I can't believe you thought that was going to work. 504 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:21,668 Well, it was worth a try. 505 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:25,104 Okay, everybody, everybody, relax. Salt-N-Pepa will be here. 506 00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:28,107 [ cheering ] 507 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,276 Just not tonight. 508 00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,010 [ booing ] 509 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,079 Wait. Wait a minute, wait. 510 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,847 Are those boos for us? 511 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:37,517 Yeah, 'cause this doesn't sound like a party I want to be at. 512 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,952 It's them! It's really them! 513 00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:45,091 I didn't think you guys were gonna show. 514 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,626 It's for the kids, Lori. 515 00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:51,864 Hey, everybody. Salt-N-Pepa's here! 516 00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:54,767 Saw, saw, saw, saw, Salt-N-Pepa's here! 517 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,537 [ cheering ] 518 00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:00,039 So party up, drink, have some food, 519 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:03,610 and they'll be right back to holler at you all. 520 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,679 Don't look over there. It's Halloween. 521 00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:10,016 ** 522 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:15,388 So, you was trying to pass off as me? 523 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:17,890 Girl, that ain't nothing compared to the time 524 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:20,793 I tried to get into a party as Biggie Smalls. 525 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,195 I forgot he was dead. 526 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,633 Babe, listen. 527 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,167 We ain't want to leave on bad terms. 528 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:31,003 We just hope that we can be friends again. 529 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,072 I don't know, Cheryl. It's just hard for me. 530 00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:35,808 I mean, I can't help but be bitter. 531 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,143 Look at you guys. 532 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,478 You're famous, 533 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,581 and we started this all together 534 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:44,351 as Salt-N-Pepa-N-Spice. 535 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:50,757 Lori, that was the '80s. It's time to let it go. 536 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,260 I mean, really. Who are we kidding? 537 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,495 Salt-N-Pepa-N-Spice? 538 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,265 That is so corny. 539 00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:01,268 Can you come up with something better, like Cinnamon? 540 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:04,237 I wanted to be a rapper, not a stripper. 541 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,775 Girl, look, I know you're still mad, 542 00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:12,111 but just take all that built-up anger 543 00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:15,014 and, ah, push it. 544 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,516 Hmm. 545 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:19,352 Push it real good. 546 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,521 Well, I just want to let it be known 547 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,623 that I still think, when we were in the studio 548 00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:25,792 creating this song, that y'all should've 549 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:29,195 listened to me and pulled it. 550 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,464 Pulled it. Pulled it. 551 00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:35,234 And that's another reason why we kicked you out. 552 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,571 ** 553 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,208 You know, Lisa, I was thinking, 554 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,411 and I know this is probably not the best time for this, 555 00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,479 but I don't want you to get your tubes tied. 556 00:20:46,513 --> 00:20:49,148 And I've decided I don't want you to get a vasectomy. 557 00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:50,550 Then what are we going to do? 558 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,251 I can't risk having another Devin. 559 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,587 No, actually my doctor offered another solution 560 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,424 that won't make me gain weight or lose my hair. 561 00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,392 Okay. You sure? 562 00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,294 They're making strides and waves these days. 563 00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:02,295 You won't be able to tell. 564 00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:03,530 Shut up, Tony. 565 00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:06,399 Ladies and gentlemen, 566 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,101 the moment we've all been waiting for. 567 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:15,975 My girls, my friends, Salt-N-Pepa! 568 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,310 [ cheering ] 569 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:18,811 * Push it 570 00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,913 Are you all ready for this old school party? 571 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:24,250 - [ cheering ] - Make some noise! Come on! 572 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,185 * Pepa's here, and we're in effect * 573 00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:28,087 * Want you to push it, babe * 574 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,822 * Coolin' by day then at night * 575 00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:32,258 * Working up a sweat, come on, girls * 576 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,427 * Let's go show the guys that we know * 577 00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:38,164 * How to become number one in a hot party show * 578 00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:39,366 * Now push it 579 00:21:39,399 --> 00:21:40,833 * Ah, push it 580 00:21:40,867 --> 00:21:41,834 Come on, y'all. 581 00:21:41,868 --> 00:21:43,169 * Push it good 582 00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,338 Don't pull it, Lori. Push it. 583 00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:46,839 * Push it real good 584 00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:49,676 * Ooh, baby, baby, baby, baby * 585 00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:52,445 * Get up on this 586 00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:55,014 * Saw, saw, saw, saw, Salt-N-Pepa's here ** 587 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,683 ** 588 00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:57,650 You still got it.